Read the post here >>> http://childhood101.com/2013/10/routines-toddlers-preschoolers/
Pin to read it later >>> http://www.pinterest.com/pin/228205906091429299/

The post Our Daily Routine with Toddlers & Preschoolers by Pauline appeared first on Lessons Learnt Journal.

So why is it that we have children? Why is it that we want to be parents? Why is it about parenting that people love? There are probably as many answers to this as there are people. Here’s mine.

Children are people. Their lives are as significant and important as anybody’s. They are people who are developing and growing, just like the rest of us.

During our quick bedtime story tonight, I asked my boys what they thought was the most amazing thing God created. M said the rainbow. N couldn’t decide. E was bouncing on the bed. As we read the story, they were reminded, along with me, that people are amazing.

Not only that, everyone is extraordinary. As C.S. Lewis puts it, “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” ~ The Weight of Glory, (HarperOne,2001), pp.45-46, from The Gospel Coalition.

Then he says, much to this mummy blogger’s delight, “We must play”. If we genuinely respect, value and love each other, that is what we do. We play as equals. “No flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”

Yes, kids are expensive. Yes, parenting is hard work. Yes, my conversation about Superman and Batman with my children is not intellectually riveting. However, it is breath taking to contemplate, even for a moment, the glorious beings they were created to be. And … I get to be their parent and play with them!

What do you enjoy about being a parent?

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I’m a closet mummy blogger. It’s such a ridiculous oxymoron. On the one hand I’m working my butt off to get my content seen by people. I’m out there, yelling “Look at me!!” on as many virtual roof tops as I can. On the other hand, in my every day conversations with my friends and family, I never bring up my blog in conversation and I try with all my might to restrain myself from Instagraming that quick pic.

I’m a closet mummy blogger because I love blogging, but I loathe hearing these words from other parents, “You make me feel so guilty.”

A friend of mine so eloquently put it like this: “We all live under judgment. We judge each other and ourselves, with everything we do.”

Add a child into that picture and that sense of judgment, on each other and ourselves is accentuated. With parenting, it’s not just about us, there’s also a dependent life (or several dependent lives) in the equation.

“Am I doing enough? They are doing things differently. Why?! Which way is better? Who’s the better parent?”… and the internal parenting rants go on.

I remember bringing my twin babies home, a month after they were born. (They had spent a month at hospital because they were born premature and were very under weight). Being a first time mum who had just given birth to twins, my hormones were all over the shop and I had no idea what I was doing. All I was fixated on was feeding my babies. To me, being a mum, equated to breastfeeding my twin babies. The struggles I went through to establish breastfeeding – – and twin breastfeeding at that – – was horrendous. I had to build up my supply; learn how to hold and attach my twin babies properly; then when there was an oversupply, there were blocked ducts; not to mention the sleep depravation! To have gone through all that then be told my twins weren’t putting on enough weight, completely demoralised me. I had been told for what seemed an eternity through parenting books, parenting classes, other parents, my own dear parents, that breastfeeding was the best thing we could do for our babies. Other mums can breastfeed their twins. Why can’t I?! Why am I such a failure?

We ended up complimentary feeding our twins. I got more rest, was less stressed, and our twin babies grew.

The parenting situations and parenting topics may have changed, but judgement and that perpetual sense of parenting failure still loom. How do I resolve them? I know and believe that I have a wonderful hope that lifts me out of judgment, but the reality is I’m still here now, living under judgment. Here I am, judging others, judging myself and being judged by others – (especially about parenting matters).

Bottom line is, I’m still growing. As I live this life, as I parent, as I grow, I want to be intentional in my actions, decisions and words.

I heard a talk by Tony Golsby-Smith, which I have found very helpful. He presents a model where to act wisely, all these three characteristics should be present:
1. Will: True to transcendent, unchanging principles.
2. Intellect: Responsive to the changing context of time/space/situation.
3. Emotion: Authentic to my inner self, my emotions, my person as an individual.

Tony makes the point that all three are required for wisdom. Two of three, or one of the three is not enough. So, the next time a parenting issue arises and I feel judged by myself or others, I’m going to try to think through those three parts of me: my will, my intellect and my emotions – where are they and where should they be?

When have you felt judged as a parent? How do you cope with judgment?

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#playmatters: Parenting Mistakes #2

Do you make the mistake of always asking your kids, “Was that fun?”

 
Our first #playmatters parenting mistake was not playing with kids and getting down to their level. But what about our conversations around play? What sort of questions do you ask your kids about play?

 
“Was that fun?” How often do those words spill out of our mouths after our kids have finished playing? I don’t want to be a party pooper and perpetrate the idea that this isn’t an appropriate question. Just as much as I believe that #playmatters, of course play is fun.

 
However, when our kids play, they may also come across conflict; or frustration, which may or may not be resolved. It’s all part and parcel of learning and life.

 
There’s something to be said about developing our children’s resilience. Resilience is a remarkable thing; to face difficulty and not crumble into a heap. Or if we do crumble into a heap, to be able to pick ourselves up, to keep a steady course and level head to go through the difficulty. Resilience is indeed a remarkable and precious character trait.

 
Yes, #playmatters. Yes, play can be fun. Yes, it is okay to ask our children, “Was that fun?” But here are some other questions you could ask your children after they have finished playing. These questions build deeper conversations. These questions have the scope to help our children think beyond their self-seeking desires. These questions model a healthy framework of thought for our children when they do come across those tough times when resilience is required.

• What did you do?
• Can you tell me what you’ve learnt?
• What are you thankful for? I love this question because regardless of the play experience (e.g. new or familiar; a calm experience, or one filled with frustration), we can still learn to be thankful.

Join the fun and be part of the #playmatters community.

 
It’s only been two weeks since the launch of #playmatters and the #playmatters community has taken off with gusto. As of the time of writing this post, there are already well over 1100 #playmatters photos. It’s so exciting. For those of you who are already part of the #playmatters community, thank you! It’s so wonderful to see so many children all around the world playing because #playmatters.

 
If you haven’t already, join in the fun and join the #playmatters community!

 
You can become part of the #playmatters community on Instagram by simply:

• Uploading your play related photos onto Instagram;
• Pick a fun filter, (choices, choices!);
• Add a caption and the hashtag #playmatters;
• Click share!
• Then, (here’s the fun part), check out other #playmatters photos by searching for the #playmatters hashtag. Be inspired, laugh and cry with others. Meet, support and be supported by others who also believe that play matters.

 
My Instagram user name is @pauline_lessonslearntjournal. Would love it if you would come and say Hi!

 
Don’t have Instagram? You can still see #playmatters photos through the Instagram tab on the Lessons Learnt Journal Facebook Page. Want to share a photo? Please share it through the Lessons Learnt Journal Facebook Page and add #playmatters as part of your caption for the photo.

Need more inspiration?

 
Follow the #playmatters Pinterest Board.

 
*We believe that play matters and we hunt down the best kids activities for you. Follow our #playmatters Pinterest Board.

More confessions?

 
I make plenty of parenting mistakes with kids. As part of the #playmatters initiative, I will be sharing a number of parenting mistakes I make with my kids. So, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out on learning from my parenting mistakes.

 
We have a fun free printable for our subscribers: 5 quick ways to have happy kids.

 
Don’t miss our next #playmatters: Parenting Misktakes #3 where I fess up about our TV watching habits.

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